Top 10 Peak A-League moments
As anyone who has spent five seconds on SokkahTwitter will know, Peak A-League moments are a part of Australian football. From the London Football Exchange to the FFA Cup Seagull and the recent shenanigans on Victoria’s border, we have accepted the A-League for what it is.
But in a field with such rich competition, which moment reigns supreme? This was the question I asked to SokkahTwitter, creating the greatest twitter thread of all time. With 87 comments and over 50 nominations I realised the true nature of my herculean task.
It was painful and arduous to separate the Joe Champness’ from the pitch invader on crutches, but I got there in the end. But thanks to my completely objective opinions my top ten will cause exactly no debate and shall be universally agreed upon. However before we dig in, it would be remiss not to have some honourable nominations. Believe me, it was hard to constrain myself to just five.
Honourable nominations: Vedran Janjetović costing the Wanderers two points in the stupidest way possible, Usain Bolt , The London Football Exchange, Archie Thompson two footing a kid, and Matt Simon.
10. Damian Mori’s wedding ring
This is why I love twitter. You can learn about Peak A-League events which occured before I knew what football was! Thanks to Anthony Vescio I learnt about the Peak A-League moment all the way back in 2005. Were the dinosaurs roaming around back in those dark ages? Or was 2005 the medieval era?
The then Perth Glory striker Damian Mori was ordered to remove his ring just before kickoff between Perth and Melbourne Victory, but due to a fractured finger from seven years ago was unable to comply with the instructions. Perth had to start the game with ten men, and after continuous failures to remove the ring the Glory were forced to sub on Brian Deane in his stead. Mori would later have to cut the ring off.
9. Joe Champness quits football to become a rapper
Joe Champness was one of the most promising youngsters at the Newcastle Jets, with the flying winger being linked with a move to Salford City at just 22. But as it turned out Newcastle was not where Champness’ heart lies, so before the beginning of 2019/20 he abandoned Newy. Not for Salford, not for elsewhere in Europe, not even for another A-League club. He went to the USA pursuing a music deal.
Should his rapping career turn to custard the Jets do have a deal that sees him come back to Newcastle rather than a different A-League club, but still. Oy vey.
8. Kerem Bulut’s offside goal
51 minutes through a 2016/17 clash between the Western Sydney Wanderers and Melbourne City, Kerem Bulut earned himself a place in the A-League hall of fame.
After being played through Nicolas Martinez Bulut slotted his shot past City keeper Thomas Sorensen. It looked as if Bulut scored the game’s opening goal, and for a fleeting moment Bulut definitely thought he had.
It was only after a solid thirty seconds of mad celebration with the Wanderers faithful that the then 25-year-old would learn the offside flag had been up the whole time. Ouch. But while the goal did not stand, Bulut gained himself something far more valuable; he would gain an eternal spot in the heart of A-League Memes.
7. The ball boy vs Tim Cahill
Tim Cahill needs no introduction. As far as Australian men’s football goes, it doesn’t get bigger than him. Part of the legend is his trademark celebration; the merciless shadow boxing of the corner flag. In 2016’s New Year’s Eve 2-2 draw between the Central Coast Mariners and City, after scoring Cahill locked onto his quarry. The flag would never know what hit it. But this time things went differently. In stepped the saviour all corner flags deserve. A ball boy grabbed the corner flag and moved backwards, keeping Cahill away from his victim.
Balls (I’m not sorry) of steel. The nerve to do that to an all time great… This kid is destined for big things. Anyone heard from him lately?
6. Kosta Barbarouses the repairman
Repairmen cost money, Kosta Barbarouses is free (sort of).
A March 2018 match between Melbourne Victory and Central Coast saw a shot into the side netting cause the net to become unhinged and a gaping hole appeared.
Play stopped as officials floundered, wondering what to do. Enter Barbarouses, the hero the game had. The Kiwi international decided to start training for his post-playing career and with a little lift from a member of the Victory’s coaching staff applied the necessary tape. The goal was fixed and the game saved.
Hmmm… broken goals. I believe in the journalism business this is what we call “foreshadowing.”
5. Perth Glory go over budget
2014/15 looked like it was at long last Perth’s season. One of the A-League’s smaller sides, the Western Australian’s sat atop the table for most of the season and despite some late hiccups finished a respectable third. Time for the Final Series, right?
Haha, no. The Glory were found to have spent $400,000 over the salary cap and were barred from entering the playoffs with a 269,000 fine to boot.
4. VAR fails in the Grand Final
Over the course of it’s three years in the A-League the Video Assistant Referee has gained almost universal hatred from fans and nowhere was it’s incompetence proved more than in the 2017/18 Grand Final between the Jets and Victory.
Barbarouses (back for more Peak A-League) scored the game’s opening goal after a James Donachie header. A header which was unfortunately offside. Painfully offside.
Yet VAR didn’t intervene. There was a glitch and VAR was down in thirty seconds preceding the goal. To the disbelief of everyone everywhere, the goal stood and Victory won the Grand Final. The FFA released a statement on the incident admitting the goal was illegal, but it was too little too late. Victory were already the champions of Australia.
To make matters worse for Newcastle, this was their first finals appearance in eight long years.
3. Jerseygate
Ok, this was in the Asian Champions League, but my article? My rules.
In January 2018 Brisbane Roar lost 3-2 to Phillipino side Ceres-Negros, but the wheels weren’t the only thing to come off that night. Squad numbers for some reason began to peel with Ivan Franjic, Eric Bautheach, and Jamie Young all falling victim to the embarrassment of jerseys with drooping numbers.
The Roar had no replacement shirts with the correct numbers. Panic took over as the numbers peeled more and more. Eventually an on pitch ironing board plus tape proved to be the fix, in a good display for Peak A-League’s first outing in Asia.
2. Frank Lowy falls off stage
The Victory have just completed the double, beating Sydney FC 3-0 in the 2014/15 Grand Final. Now for what they’ve been waiting for. The toilet seat. FFA Chairman Frank Lowy comes on stage to hand them the prize, but first it’s time for some impressions with Lowy doing his best Neymar by falling off the stage.
While it was no doubt painful for the 84-year-old, it was perhaps the most fitting end to an A-League season that we’ve had. And, we got this truly incredible edit from Patrick Barnes as a result:
1. Perth Glory vs Central Coast Mariners
It couldn’t be anything else, could it? Seriously, any one of the events which happened during the 2018 NYE clash could have been placed here, but so many Peak A-League moments in one game… Glorious. Just glorious.
The best part was the 40 minute delay caused by a goal post breaking in the tenth minute, meaning that both sides had to use training goals as regulations state both goals must be the same size. Given Perth scored both pre-breakage and post-breakage in both halves, they became the first A-League side to score in three goals.
But the fun didn’t stop there. Fox broadcaster Daniel McBreen called the Mariners “F--king dogs--t” on air. Fireworks interrupted the game. A part of the stand was fenced off as a native bird was nesting there. Oh, and there was a kid with a BB gun.